Follow up to same-sex marriage post...

After tweeting the link to the post "Really California? Are you kidding me?", a friend of mine @replied me and sent me the link to another blog post supporting same-sex marriage: I Am Married. It was written in 2004 by an award-winning author and blogger. He is a thirty-something straight man who is married with one child.

It's a great read! (Thanks for sharing, Aaron!)

Really California? Are you kidding me?

The title of this blog post really says it all.

I am shocked, offended, apaulled, disgusted, disappointed and ANGRY that the Supreme Court of California voted to uphold Proposition-8 this week. I mean, seriously. What the hell decade/century/millenium are we living in?

I whole-heartedly believe that marriage should be a LEGAL union between any two individuals who love each other enough to commit their lives to each other. Anyone who has ever been married will tell you that marriage is tough. But it's the most fabulous roller coaster you'll ever ride and I commend two people who are dedicated enough to each other to want hop on that roller coaster together.

LOVE IS LOVE. What difference does it make whether it's between a man and a woman or two men or two women? With all the horrible things in this world, I'm outraged that the Supreme Court of California has decided to continue to support something that takes away the happiness of marriage and equality from a few hundred thousand of the state's citizens.

It amazes me that states like Massachusettes (where same-sex marriage has been legal since 2003), Connecticut (legal since 2008), Iowa (legal since April), Vermont (becomes legal Sept 1) and Maine (becomes legal Sept 14) have embraced their gay populations while California, which is supposed to be a progressive state, has not.

I think at this point it has to be up to activists in California to petition to get a new bill/referendum/proposition on the ballot as soon as possible to legalize same-sex marriage. Since 6 of the 7 justices of the Supreme Court of California didn't have the cojones to overturn Prop-8, the voters are going to have to do it.

I'm proud that the State of Washington has passed a law to expand rights for domestic partnerships. But there is already a proposed ballot initiative to overturn the bill, which was signed into law by Governor Gregoire on May 18th, called Referendum 71 and immediately Equal Rights Washington starting urging citizens to Pledge to Decline to Sign Referendum 71 petition. I pledged earlier this week and I encourage everyone else who is registered to vote in Washington to sign it too.

While I am saddened and frustrated and angered by all this, I am still hopeful. I have faith that every state in the union will legalize same-sex marriage in my lifetime. And I am choosing to help the cause rather than ignore it or sit idly by.

Life and Death

Chad and I attended the memorial for a friend today. He passed away just before Christmas, but his family wanted to wait till spring for the memorial.

Andrew Gumprecht was a wonderful man. Only 33 years old, but he managed to touch the lives of many in his role as a bartender. He told amazing stories and charmed everyone who met him. He had a big smile and an infectious laugh. The memorial today made me wish I had known him better. His family and closest friends shed a bright light onto the person he was and, to be honest, I feel a bit cheated that he was taken from us before I got the chance to know him better.

His death has also made me consider my own mortality. Why do I waste time with things that make me unhappy? Why do so many of us do that every day? Why don't we tell the people we love that we love them every chance we get? Why do we hesitate to open ourselves up to the people we want to be close to? What the hell are we afraid of? Getting hurt, I suppose. But I contend that it would hurt more to lose the chance to get close to someone you care about than it would if you were to open up and have it not reciprocated. At least then you'd know you made the effort to open up your heart and you wouldn't regret the fact that your didn't take the risk.

I would imagine most people have read/heard The Dash. It's a poem that basically states that it's not about the day of your birth or the day of your death. It's about the dash that's in between. I want to make the most of my dash. I don't want to waste time with petty bullshit. I want to forgive and forget and move on. While I want to recognize and address my anger and sadness, I don't want to dwell on those emotions. I want to focus on my happiness. I want to surround myself with people I love who love me in return - people who love me for ME, not the person they want me to be or think I should be.

Of course, we're all painfully aware that we have no idea how much time we have on this earth. No big surprise there. But I hope to make the most of every day I have here. I want to make "Carpe Diem" my mantra again, as it once was. Nothing ventured, nothing gained... and all those other painful cliches that prove to be true time and time again. I refuse to let the opportunity to express my love and admiration for those around me pass me by.

So, if you already know I love you, you'd better get ready for lots of hugs and kisses and "I love yous." And if you don't already know I love you, you're going to find out very soon. : )

"Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did." ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

"May you live all the days of your life." ~Jonathan Swift

"All I can say about life is, Oh God, enjoy it!" ~Bob Newhart

That's What You Call Friendship?

In the last few months, I've had some weird issues with "friends" and I've come to the conclusion that often friendships end because the two parties involved define friendship in different ways and those two different ways don't mesh. In other words, one believes in the give and take of friendship, and the other just wants to take.

Take, for instance, a "friendship" that peaked in the fall and winter of this past year. There was a woman who Chad had worked with at a past job. They'd become friends and she'd come to the occasional party over the past 4 years. Then during the summer she became more connected to us through work connections.

She and I really hit it off. She was closer to Chad's age than mine (no big surprise, because with the exception of a few recent additions to our friendship circle, our friends are typically closer to Chad's age) but she and I were very similar in a lot of ways - similar senses of humor (often a bit crass), passionate, goofy, etc. One major difference was our level of confidence and stability. I am certainly by no means the most confident person (I am well aware of my faults) but her confidence seemed to revolved solely around her appearance and the attention she was getting from men. Which, in all honesty while I don't thrive off it, I completely understand - who doesn't like to look good and get attention? Anyone who says they don't is LYING.

I spent a lot of time helping her through a rough relationship that included mental and emotional abuse. I really cared about her and wanted things in her life to be good. I was willing to help her in nearly any way I could to make that happen.

Anyway, she crossed a line with our friendship in mid-fall. It definitely could have been a deal breaker. I was pretty upset about it and, as anyone who has the full details of the situation would tell you, I had every right to be. But she apologized and I bought it so we dove right back into the friendship where we had left off.

Next she "fell" for another friend of mine. Because I care deeply for both parties involved, I spent lots of time counseling her about how to handle the situation with him. (Chad would tell you that this is my first mistake - I often insert myself where/when I shouldn't. And perhaps he's right, but it's the way I operate nonetheless. I never force it, but when asked, I am happy to throw my two cents in.)

Right around the holidays, she got mad at Chad about something work related that he had absolutely no control over. At which point, she essentially stopped talking to me. I called her several times to see if she was OK and got literally one word answers to my questions. Then when we heard from several mutual friends that she was saying a lot of really negative and untrue things about Chad, I stopped calling/texting/messaging to check on her.

So here's the short version of the end of the friendship... she un-friended me from Facebook. Stupid, I know, that THAT is what would piss me off to the point of blogging about it, but that's how I feel. And she actually did it along time ago, it just took me this long to get over the initial anger. I mean, seriously. You are 42 years old and that's how you are going to deal with this? You can't call me and talk to me like an adult?

I realize I am better off without someone so draining in my life, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

After all this, I really felt compelled to take a look at my friendships and evaluate them. I believe that friendships should be mutually beneficial - you give and, when needed, you take. I am really trying now to only put effort into the friendships with the people who have put effort into the friendship with me. I'm at a point in my life when I don't have time or energy to waste. Plus I am surrounded by a lot of amazing people who are truly more like family than friends. THOSE are the people who deserve my time and energy, not some random people who are trying to suck the life out of me.

While I'm still sad/mad about the way things turned out with this friendship, I wouldn't change it if I could. It took this for me to see her true colors. And as I have always said... things happen for a reason.

The Power of the Tweet!

So after years on MySpace and Facebook, I have a new love (read: addiction): TWITTER.

I thought the idea was ridiculous at first. Who in the hell would want to read my random thoughts in 140 characters or less? And if they did want to, did I really WANT them to? But then I heard some case studies from other MarCom peeps in Spokane and I thought it might be worth a second look. Organizations were using it successfully to build their brands. Maybe it would work for VisitSpokane.

I started with a personal account (@Bethany_Kate) and used it rarely, but then I got a wild hair to search for other CVBs. There were tons of them! They were using Twitter for contests, to promote events and local establishments, to draw people to their destination's websites. So I embarked on a Twitter journey with @VisitSpokane.

As I built our Twitter brand, I also started using my personal account more. I started following a bunch of different celebrities, including @DrDrew (Dr. Drew Pinskey of Loveline & VH1's Celebrity Rehab fame, who I happen to have a massive crush on) and @firstladyoflove (Dr. Drew's wife Susan Pinskey) who are both figure skating fans (their 16-year-old daughter is a skater) and avid Tweeters/bloggers.

Susan Pinskey tweeted a couple times about the fact that she was at Worlds in L.A. Just so happens that my boss and a co-worker were working the Spokane 2010 booth on thr concourse selling tickets and booking hotel rooms for the 2010 US Figure Skating Championships in Spokane. So using our @VisitSpokane account on Twitter, I invited Susan to visit the Spokane booth, which started a series of @replies (Twitter's version of publicly replying to people) between Susan and @VisitSpokane.

The result? Susan and Dr. Drew visited the Spokane booth on the last day of Worlds and spent some time talking with my boss and co-worker. Both Susan and Drew had been to Spokane before, for the 2007 US Figure Skating Championships and a speaking engagement at Gonzaga University respectively. Now we know they plan to come back in January 2010. And they want to be shown around town - I hope I get to be the one to give the tour!

Additionally, Susan started to follow @VisitSpokane. Since she @replied us and started to follow our account on Friday we've had about 30 new followers. It's now Sunday.

Ah yes, don't ever doubt the power of a single tweet. : )

The Family Ties that Bind

So, my family is crazy. Not in a bad way though (mostly). In a good, hilarious, keep-you-on-your-toes, thank-God-they're-around-to-keep-me-grounded kind of way.

We had a belated wake for my Grandpa Bill last weekend in Davenport, WA, on my aunt and uncle's farm. Grandpa grew up in Davenport and raised his family there, for the most part. He would have been 90 years old on March 15th of this year. He passed away May 23, 2005, at the ripe ol' age of 86. I wish he was still here. Have LOTS of questions for him... But I digress a bit (there will have to be a whole separate post about him later).

The man loved Black Russians, so I thought it would be fitting to bring the ingredients so we could properly toast him. At the liquor store I contemplated the size of the vodka and coffee liqueur bottles before settling on the medium size. In retrospect, should have gotten the large bottles (we polished off the medium ones).

We spent the day eating (everything from white chili to pizza to green olive dip to chocolate cake), drinking, looking at old family photos and playing Chinese Ping Pong - which I highly recommend if you have never played. We even called my new Uncle Pat (who also will get a blog post of his own) in Minnesota - my Aunt Joy, dad and Uncle Lenny got to talk to him for the very first time. Aunt Sherry has had a couple conversations with him already.

There was, of course, all kinds of silliness and harassment and revelry. And we all agreed that next time we'd have to do it on a Saturday and make it a slumber party. Whose house it will be at remains to be seen...

I almost always come away from family get-togethers on a high. Such gatherings are a great reminder of how much we all have in common and how much fun we have when we're together. Don't get me wrong - we have a lot of differences, and each of us in each generation have chosen quite different paths for our lives. But the fact remains - we are definitely family. We have similar senses of humor. We're all smart. We all have artistic streaks (some certainly have more talent than others), though we choose all different media to express those streaks. Most of us have a little OCD. We're fiercely loyal.

So out of that loyalty, I felt compelled to vocalize my unconditional love for my family. I have their backs and I know they have mine. It's nice to know that no matter what twists and turns my life takes, I will have them all there to support me in the end. Just as I will support each and every one of them, regardless of what path they choose and decisions they make.

To have a tight-knit (moderately crazy) family is definitely a gift from God.

Thoughts about Octomom

Wow. This woman pisses me off. 14 kids all under the age of 8, some with disabilities. Single parent. No job. My heart breaks for each and every one of those kids. There will never be enough of ANYTHING to go around - love, money, etc. Even with extended family around to help, I just don't see how those kids can grow up with any semblance of a normal life.

Beyond that I don't see how she (Nadya) will ever have a normal adult relationship. How could anyone enter in to that kind of crazy life? How could there even be time for any kind of romantic relationship with 14 kids to take care of? Plus I highly doubt that there's any way that she is at all prepared for the work that needs to go into a marriage.

And where in the hell did this fancy new house come from? I'm beginning to wonder if it didn't come from a producer who is hoping to set up a "Jon & Kate Plus 8" type of a show with her. Bet she'd jump on the chance.

She actually has a web site set up so you can make donations to her and the kids. Are you kidding me? Yes, those kids are obviously in need of financial assistance. But would you trust this woman to use your donation to benefit them in some way? I sure as hell wouldn't.

The other thing that really bothers me about this situation is the doctor that performed the in vitro. I don't understand how he could possibly think that implanting 6 embryos would be a good idea. Especially given the number of children that she had already. I understand that ultimately the number implanted was her decision, but did he even try to counsel her out of implanting so many? Doesn't sound like it.

Last thing before I shut up my pointless ramblings about this situation... does she really think that ANYONE believes that she isn't making a serious attempt to look like Angelina Jolie? Click here to see the link to side by side photos of the two women. Click here to see the before and after photos of her.

In conclusion, she is absolutely nuts.