Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Wake up call... Mexican style

Hey all... I haven't blogged in a really long time.  But today I had to write a discussion post for my Global Branding Master's class about culture shock.  And because of the context, it seems like a relevant blog post, so here we go...

My most influential experience with culture shock was not recent, but it still sticks out in my mind as if it happened yesterday. I was 17 years old and I went with my youth group on a mission trip to Mexico. We were stationed out of a base camp in Cuernavaca, Mexico, just outside of Mexicali (which is south of the Mexico/California border, inland from Tijuana) and were supporting congregations in the small villages of Colosio and Aldama. As a high school Junior, I was in my third year of Spanish, so although we had a couple of translators with us, in addition to my role as music director for the mission I was charged with helping with communication with the locals. Our goal for the trip was not to convert anyone to a different religion. We were charged with assisting existing congregations by rebuilding churches and providing programs for young women and children.

Ironically, I feel the need to add a disclaimer in at this point. Today, I do not consider myself religious. I am spiritual, but do not subscribe to a specific faith. Some of my conversion toward my current perspective is directly related to what I saw and experienced during this trip, but that is a tangent for another day. On to the point...

I come from an upper-middle class family from the U.S.’s Pacific Northwest. My parents are college educated and have always both been gainfully employed. They still live in the same house they purchased when I was 6. I have one younger sister, with whom I have always been close, a tight extended family and a close-knit group of friends. My education has always been important to me – there was never a moment where I considered not going to college. We went to church while I was growing up but it was never a big part of my life until I decided I wanted it to be as a teenager, which is how I ended up in Mexico on a mission as a high schooler.

While on our mission, we were in some of the poorest parts of Mexico, so it was entirely shocking to learn about the lives of the young people there. But the most surprising part about it was how content they were with a lifestyle that, to me, was completely inadequate.

Enter Marie de Jesus Martinez and Irene Gonzales Morales. Marie was 21 years old and the mother of 7-month-old Teresa, 2-year-old Richard and 3-year-old Karen. Irene was 19 and had a 6-month-old named Yoslin and a 2-year-old boy, whose name I sadly cannot remember now. These two young women showed up our second day in the village and stood at the back of the group while their kids played soccer and jump rope with us, and learned about Play-Doh for the first time. By day three, they were ready to engage. As the lone female Spanish speaker (which is honestly a stretch, but I was pleased that my US high school education allowed me to communicate as well as it did), I was charged with engaging these women.

Marie de Jesus Martinez & Teresa and Irene Gonzales Morales & Yoslin

Me with little Yoslin

We spent hours and hours talking. But not about what you might think girls ages 17, 19 and 21 would chat about… We talked about their lives, and the more they talked the more I wanted to understand. Most of the village of Colosio was without power or running water. Yet, these women and their children appeared every day smelling like sunshine dressed in sparkling clean clothes, and always with supremely delicious snacks to share with the “Gringos." I learned that they rarely went to school as kids and teens – only when there were no chores around the house or siblings to take care of. And what shocked me most was that they didn’t care. They were more concerned with their family and community than about their own education or lifestyle.

At the tender age of 17 (which, if you'll recall, I was at the time), childhood friends Marie and Irene were already married and pregnant with their first children. As a 17-year-old American with MTV, a job as a Library Page, my own car, a Discman and college on the horizon, on behalf of these women I was appalled at the sexism and classism that was hindering their futures. But they weren’t. They were divinely happy with their lives, and to be sharing them with each other. These women had zero desire to ever go to college or have jobs of any kind outside their village. And beyond that, they didn’t care that they had no running water or electricity. They were absolutely content with their lives exactly as they were.

According to Hofstede’s six dimensions, there are several that factor into my culture shock experience, but I will focus on two. The first, and likely dominant dimension, is Individualism. Of all the dimensions, Individualism has the highest disparity between the U.S. and Mexico, with the countries sitting at 91 and 30 respectively (Hofstede, n.d., Matrix of dimension scores). Low numbers on the Individualism spectrum indicate that the culture values community over the individual, which clearly Mexican culture does. As a Collectivist culture, each person is expected to contribute to the success of the group, rather than focusing on individual success (Hofstede, n.d., Dimensions of national cultures). American culture, on the other hand, could hardly be more Individualistic – the focus is entirely on individual success. Success of the group is a bi-product of personal gain. When evaluating my experience with Marie and Irene, it is clear that there was a significant disconnect between us as far as Individualism was concerned.

Power Distance was another dimension that clearly impacted my culture shock. Mexico’s Power Distance ranking is 81, while the U.S. sits at 40 (Hofstede, n.d., Matrix of dimension scores). Obviously, much of Mexico has electricity and running water. And yet the people I encountered on our mission who didn’t have those amenities seemed OK with it. Such beliefs, as well as the high Power Distance number of 81, suggest that the inequality that exists between the "haves" and the "have-nots" is not only tolerated by the "have-nots," but is accepted (Hofstede, n.d., Dimensions of national cultures). Marie and Irene never once, in all of our conversations, hinted at any resentment toward those who had electricity or running water, or who held higher prestige and power. Nor did they even acknowledge any kind of a class differential – even when I directly asked them about it (which I now realize may not have been appropriate).

I have often wondered about Marie and Irene, and little Teresa, Yoslin, Richard, Karen and what’s-his-name. They would now be 37, 35, 16, 16, 18, 20 and 18, respectively. I wonder if the kids are in the same space now that their moms were 15 years ago, nearly at their age. I wonder if Marie and Irene are in the same space. I would love to see what they’ve all been up to, but odds are… none of them are on Facebook.


Hofstede, G. (n.d.). Dimensions of national cultures. Retrieved from

Hofstede, G. (n.d.). Matrix of dimension scores. Retrieved from

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Art of Parenting

I'm of the mindset that parenting is an art form. It's a talent that not everyone develops. It's something that you get better at the longer you do it, as long as you learn from your mistakes. And good or bad, I think that you tend to emulate the role models you had as a child.

Parenting is the art of balancing dichotomies. You have to be everything to your child - the Disciplinarian, Nurturer, Friend, Coach, Listener, Lecturer, Motivator, Educator, Snuggler - all wrapped up into one parental ball.

Due to recent circumstance in my life, I've become increasingly aware of common traits and actions shared by good parents, as well as those shared by those I would classify as "non-parents." There are some very distinct differences between the two.

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, the fact that your egg or sperm became a baby DOES NOT make you a parent. You become a parent by working at it, learning from it and growing with your child(ren). And as far as I'm concerned, there are concrete lists of "Dos" and "Don'ts" that parents should follow in order to be most effective.

Good parents do...
  • Set realistic rules and expectations for their kids
  • Talk to their kids
  • Kiss their kids' ouchies
  • Praise their kids
  • Help their kids with homework
  • Read to their kids
  • Talk to their kids' teachers, advisers and school counselors
  • Cuddle their kids
  • Make time for themselves
  • Provide their kids with new experiences
  • Allow their kids freedom to be themselves
  • Punish their kids when necessary
  • Make time for their significant other
  • Trust their kids
  • Notice as their kids mature
  • Respect their kids
  • Follow through on their promises
  • Teach their kids to be responsible
  • Financially support their kids (until they can start to support themselves)
Good parents DON'T....
  • Ignore their kids
  • Treat their kids like peers
  • Deceive their kids (except when necessary to keep something a surprise!)
  • Expose their kids to negativity
  • Force their kids to grow up too fast
  • Smother their kids
  • Speak negatively about their kids
  • Invade their kids' privacy
  • Make promises to their kids they don't intend to keep
  • Let their kids quit when the going gets tough
  • Belittle their kids
My husband and I were both very lucky to have good parents. And we strive every day to be the good parents to our four kids that we know we can be. Does that mean we're always perfect? HELL no. But it does mean we try to live by the "Do" list at all times.

What things would you add to my lists of parental "Dos" or "Don'ts"?

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

No Cohones? Just Blog Anonymously.

So... you have this really passionate stance on something and you want everyone to know about it?  I have a great idea!  Start an anonymous blog!  IF YOU'RE A WUSS.

Nothing irritates me more than someone posting a no-nonsense hardcore opinion about an issue for the world to see, then not having the balls to attach their name to it.  As far as I'm concerned, if you won't own up to your own thoughts and words, your posts are merely worthless obnoxious rants. 

I'm all for people having strong opinions - I have extremely strong stances on a number of issues.  And I am PROUD to post those opinions right here on my blog, and then I welcome the debate that follows.

Rant over.  I feel better now.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

"Lost Generation" - An Incredibly Smart Video

This super smart video was created for the AARP U@50 video contest and placed second.  Thanks to Amber Masten for posting this on Facebook for us all to see!

Monday, November 30, 2009

My New Adventure

I am on my way on a new adventure - last Monday I started my new job at Northern Quest Resort & Casino.  They recently created a brand new position - Interactive Communications Strategist - that had my name written all over it.  The position is housed in the Hotel Sales & Marketing department on the resort side, but I will be working on website content and search engine optimization as well as social media strategies and execution for several entities including:
  • Kalispel Tribe
  • the Resort
  • the Casino
  • The Q Sports Bar
  • Impluse nightclub
  • Legends of Fire cigar bar
  • Current Spa & Salon
  • Masselow's (the fine dining restaurant at the resort)
Our temporary offices are located behind the new parking garage and the hotel in what's known as the "PR trailer."  There are 10 of us in the trailer, which is about the size of the portable classrooms we had a Colbert Elementary back in the '80s and early '90s.  In a few weeks, our offices will be moved into the hotel.  I haven't even seen the hotel yet!

It has been really hard to leave my family at the Spokane Regional CVB.  I wouldn't be the woman/mother/friend/marketer/social media fiend that I am if it weren't for the love and support I received from the bosses and co-workers there.

I am very excited about the opportunity my new job holds.  But I really have my work cut out for me. I am 100% ready to hit the ground running!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Great Quote to Keep at Your Desk

My wonderful boss Jeanna emailed this out to our staff this morning after receiving it from a friend.  In light of some serious trials and stress I am facing, it seem especially profound to me today.

May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

It's a slight variation of a quote from Mother Teresa. Every time I read it I feel a little better. 

Saturday, October 24, 2009

NYC Baby!

My fabulous hubby and I got to spend 5 days in NYC last week thanks to my work (Spokane Regional CVB) sending me to the E-Tourism Summit and thanks to our friends and family who helped care for the twins.

It was our first trip to the Big Apple and we had an absolute BLAST!

If you'd like to read about our trip, check out the blog I posted about it on our Hutson Family blog.